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Chapter 1

Back to the start

It was so strange, being there again. There were no houses at all now, only trees on either side of the narrow road. They grew so wild they formed a leafy ceiling above us, gold and orange and burnt umber. I just kept staring out the window at everything, willing myself to remember some of it, but I couldn鈥檛.

Asha, my sister, was sleeping in the back seat, her head resting on my jumper and her blonde curls sticking damply to her face. Of course, for her this was just another place, no different to the countless other homes we鈥檝e had. She doesn鈥檛 remember that this was our first home, the place where we were born. We had to move away from here when I was eight and she was only a few months old and still being wheeled around in a pram.

She was too little to notice when Dad stopped coming home.

I remembered, though, and I knew that was exactly what Mam was thinking while she drove. She was clutching the wheel so hard her knuckles were white and she hadn鈥檛 spoken once in the three hours of driving since the airport. That suited me fine; I had a lot to think about.

I鈥檇 been looking through old photos before I came here; pictures of my first communion which I鈥檇 made just before I was whisked away. Pictures of my junior infants class. Ordinary photos of mam and dad at home. As far as I could tell, the village looked the same now as it had when I was eight. Rows of pretty terraced houses in uninspiring shades of pink and cream, a church like an old, grey giant, and the two schools, right across from each other. I wasn鈥檛 nervous until then- but seeing my very first primary school again right there in front of me鈥t was surreal, almost. Like I鈥檇 come around in a full circle and now here I was, back where I鈥檇 started when everything was normal and Dad was there every day, and we had no reason to believe that we wouldn鈥檛 be here all our lives.

Funny how everything can change in a heartbeat.



PS It's aimed at the teenage to young adult market.

Please tell me how to make it better!Would you want to read more of this?
That is really good. I can only make a few suggestions; below is my imporved copy of your piece of writing, but I haven't needed to change much so keep reading as it wont be pointless to do so!...



Homecoming

It was so strange, being there again. There were no houses at all now, only trees lining the side of the road. They grew wild and unattended, mottled autumn leaves of gold, orange and burnt uymber strentching out above, forming a leafy ceiling and throwing mottled schadows across the sticky tarmac road. I just kept staring out the window at everything, willing myself to remember. But I couldn鈥檛.

Asha, my sister, was sleeping in the back seat, her head resting on my jumper, blonde curls sticking damply to her face. Of course, for her, this was just another place, no different to the countless other homes we鈥檝e had. She doesn鈥檛 remember that this was our first home, the place where we were born, the pl;ace where we belonged. Then again, why should she? We had to move away from here when I was eight and she was only a few months old and still being wheeled around in a pram.

She was too little to notice when Dad stopped coming home.

I remembered, though, and I knew that was exactly what Mam was thinking while she drove. She was clutching the wheel so hard her knuckles were white and she hadn鈥檛 spoken once in the three hours of driving since the airport. That suited me fine; I had a lot to think about.

I鈥檇 been looking through old photos before I came here; pictures of my first communion which I鈥檇 made just before I was whisked away. Pictures of my junior infants class. Ordinary photos of mam and dad at home. As far as I could tell, the village looked the same now as it had when I was eight. Rows of pretty terraced houses in uninspiring shades of pink and cream, a church like an old, grey giant, and the two schools, right across from each other. I wasn鈥檛 nervous until then- but seeing my very first primary school again right there in front of me鈥t was surreal. Like I鈥檇 come around in a full circle and now here I was, back where I鈥檇 started when everything was normal and Dad was there every day, and we had no reason to believe that we wouldn鈥檛 be here all our lives.

Funny how everything can change in a heartbeat.



Hope you liked it - C.W.Would you want to read more of this?
I love it but how old are the characters? Also put a little fillings in it.Would you want to read more of this?
i loved it! i dont think it should be changed around that much!
yes